Saturday, July 19, 2014

Good Woman gone Bad

Once she was the fairest of the land. Everyone loved her because she was the fairest of the land. She could do no wrong, you guessed it, because she was the fairest in the land. The king married her, why? Because she was what he wanted to be his soul mate and loving mother to his child? NO! He married her because she was the fairest in the land and would look good on his arm. He never bothered to take  a look at her parenting skills, her own self-worth, social beliefs or true inner goodness. None of that mattered to him. He just wanted a cutie.
The King spent all his spare time hunting and drinking ale with his homeys. Constantly bragging about how wonderful, cute and important his daughter was. He sounded like a broken record, Snow could do this perfectly, Snow could do that better, etc etc etc.
On one of his many days out with the boys, the king was killed in a so called hunting accident leaving a wife with extremely low self esteem to run the whole country by herself. The queen had no training in management, no financial skills or even knowledge of the monthly bills. She was at a loss but at least she was still pretty. She still had that going for her! Unfortunately growing older it was getting harder and harder to keep the weight down and the wrinkles hidden. She did take much pride in eating healthy and exercising regularly. She was still a hottie. For her age anyway.
Then it happened, she heard from a very reliable source the she the Queen was NOT the fairest of the land anymore. The Queen was devastated!!!  "It can not be!!" she screamed " I must again be the fairest of the land. I have done all I can to appear young and be beautiful! There is only one thing left I can do. I must eliminate the competition. Then life will be good again."

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Silent Woman

Living in silence with no need to speak was common place for the ailing widow.
After all who would hear her? Except for an occasion mutter or grumble her voice
was of no use and nonexistent.
Years earlier the house bubbled over with sound. Loud laughter,Television blaring,
the continuous arguing and arguing and arguing. Arguing was definitely her seven
children s favorite pastime. The memories brought a chuckle to the silent woman's lips.
They were such good kids. They all hated each other equally and did not torment just one.
The morning started just as uneventful as the day before. She sipped her coffee, chewed her
toast with jam (people always eat toast and jam in stories) slowly and carefully. The
thought of taking a shower crossed her mind but she decided against it. No one was around to
smell her anyway. Now she has become a silent smelly woman.... such a pity.

Several hours had passed. The silent smelly woman had just finished tidying up her kitchen
and crawled back into her unmade bed for her forenoon nap when suddenly a strange unfamiliar
sound echoed throughout her cottage. Could it be? Was that the telly ringing? It had been weeks,
no months since it sang its song. Who could it be? The children never called unless it
was Christmas or another special holiday. Her favorite, little Billy, would call spontaneously
every now and then. Could it be him? Impossible, he was in rehab and would not have phone
privileges for a couple more week.

The silent smelly woman legs and knees cracked and crunched as she hobbled into her parlor where the usually silent phone resided. For one moment the emotion of hope flooded the woman's mind.
Maybe It was a past friend wanting to reconnect! Or possibly a lost love found
himself thinking of her! With trembling hand the silent smelly woman raised the receiver to her ear.
She opened her mouth to speak, Her voice made only a gurgle. After clearing her throat she was
able to crook a unevenly pitched hello. Alas, The silence had been broken.
The end.
(and you thought it was going to end with a tele marketer)

Friday, July 4, 2014

Curbside find

A Granny's favorite! The people down the road were moving and left this lovely rocker for the trash. My husband saved it and brought it home (He likes free stuff!) After checking it out I find it is a original vintage THONET! Name carved and numbered. These suckers are rare and this one is just about in perfect shape. The only ones I could find were a few on Ebay and sellers were asking 500 dollars or more. Their chairs were trash compared to this one. Hmmmm is this a good thing? If the chair was just a Walmart special I could of listed it on a local garage sale site and made 25 bucks. Now I feel I need to keep it in my tiny overfilled house, make no money and pass it onto my heirs. grumble

Thursday, July 3, 2014